the night before christmas

24 Dec

london 11.16pm 8.3C clear night. thursday 2015

i have been putting in my data of my expenses into my new spreadsheet and did not realise the time has flown. and when i next looked up i realise it is near to midnite and the coming of christmas day tomorrow.

it feels like any night actually. this is because there is nothing in my flat that commemorates it. it is too much bother to put up decorations etc. so i don’t. haha.

maybe that is why i dont feel sad or anything about it. or mind spending it alone, with no festivities around me. i like my own company and my own thoughts. that might explain why i dont mind being on my own.

simon is of course at  his mother’s. she lives in essex. i think he is in two minds about it. his mother expects him to go of course. but i think he gets fed up if he stays too long and comes back for some peace. haha. all that talk of families argueing with each other in these family gatherings, is quite true.  

i have managed to avoid joining him. do u know that to this day i have not met his mother? i know, it is strange, but it is because neither of us want to , i think. thank goodness his mother and i think alike there. we chat on the phone when she calls and i pick up the phone. otherwise we dont really have any conversations. she has not visited me, nor i her.

i dont mind. simon and i have been together since 2000, he mentioned it one day when he said he saw it in his diary. i myself have forgotten when we met. i dont bother to keep note of anniversaries, so dont remember the date or year we met. haha. i think he must think i am quirky, but thank goodness he does not mind. because i dont remember birthdays and dont celebrate them, neither mine or his. haha.

i dont know when his birthday comes round actually. i am glad he does not mind it. he used to give me a birthday card and presents for my birthday, until i dissuaded him as it is just more stuff to dust and find a place to put away and clutter up the flat. haha.

perhaps that explains why i am not too disturbed with these christmas or new year hoo haa. these so called special days just pass me by. i would go to bed early on new year eve, and sleep through all the fireworks and hoo haa. hehe, i dont mind it. 

perhaps also in malaysia, we dont really celebrate christmas that much. when i was a kid there, we just go to midnite mass and that is it. we have a christmas tree, an artificial one, with decorations which we use and reuse. and there are no presents. my parents could not be bothered with all that, because it is expensive that is why. haha. or at least i think that was why we dont get presents, and my parents dont emphasise that bit of it. so we are not expected to give them presents and they are not giving us any. it saves a lot of bother really. and i am rather glad we dont have that tradition. now that i have given up my religion, i dont have to go to midnite mass anymore. 

perhaps that might explain why now i never did like giving or receiving presents. i prefer to give , or receive cash, because that is what we got during chinese new year, in our angpows. literally translated as red packets. and the amount need not be a lot, as long as it comes in pairs. a coin and a note, or two notes, or two coins.

well, i like the way i spend the holiday period, but dont expect anyone to do the same. haha. i think it does not matter how you spend this period, as long as u are at peace with it.

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8 Responses to “the night before christmas”

  1. MELewis Friday December 25, 2015 at 7:07 am #

    Your post about a quiet Christmas should be sad but it’s not, as you are at peace with it. Amid all the chaos and family arguments over here, I am just slightly envious! Wishing you happy holidays!

    • alifesgayventure Friday December 25, 2015 at 8:09 am #

      it is when aloneness is forced on someone when they dont want it, then it becomes a sad thing. so someone can either embrace being alone, or rail against it. i find life is what u make of it. on one hand being alone, and on the other being surrounded by people and leading a really social life, both have their advantages. perhaps the ideal is living both ways at different times of the year, or even at different times of the day… now that would be ideal. to have a balance of both.

      • MELewis Friday December 25, 2015 at 8:45 am #

        Agree. It is not very socially acceptable to enjoy solitude but indeed it is a thing of beauty.

  2. Garfield Hug Friday December 25, 2015 at 12:11 pm #

    Agree and like you, I enjoy a quiet Christmas minus the commercialism. Have a good holiday season resting 😀

    • alifesgayventure Friday December 25, 2015 at 12:23 pm #

      here with all the shops closed we spend the time watching wall to wall tv. haha. it can be enjoyable now that we get lots of channels to choose from. though some still cant get enough of buying stuff and are on the internet now getting bargains. the commercialism is invading the home even at this time… with the internet shopping being open 24 hrs. some are jumping the gun by doing their boxing day bargain hunting early.

      • Garfield Hug Friday December 25, 2015 at 12:29 pm #

        I can imagine! Generally countries like UK, USA, Europe or even Australia and New Zealand close shops. In Asia like Singapore life in shopping continues as usual! More vibrant

      • alifesgayventure Friday December 25, 2015 at 4:48 pm #

        i think it more enjoyable to be in singapore or s.e.asia during christmas as they dont shut shop, so people can do all the usual things. and even better the eating places and hawker stalls stay open. it is chinese new year that it is not as good to be a tourist in singapore,or malaysia. when all the chinese businesses shut shop. though the indian and malay stalls remain open so it is a good time to try them.

  3. djh512 Friday December 25, 2015 at 4:09 pm #

    I just wanted to say thanks for your post . I feel just about the same . The expectations that surround the holidays can be exhausting and while it is wonderful to embrace your loved ones at this time of year ; it can also be a sad time for those without the healthy /happy families we see one display all around us . I’ve grown more tolerant and surrendered unrealistic expectations as I’ve gotten older . Miss the one on one intimacy however that having a partner might bring . Happy New Year .

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