8 Jan

london 1.19pm 10.3C cloudy friday 2016

things are rather quiet in my life now. it is usually quiet anyway, so perhaps this is not unusual. haha.

i thought of joining in the lotto frenzy, seeing tomorrow there must be a winner for the jackpot, so i bought a ticket.

i went for the lucky dip, which means the machine picks the numbers for me. i have never played it before so i was really puzzled at how to fill in the ticket stubbs that they provide, but luckily the lady manning the machine knew what to do, so she punched out the numbers and gave me the ticket. it costs £2.

but when i saw the numbers the machine chosed,… 17,18, 19  i had a laugh. it is plainly obvious that it is not my fate to win it. haha. well, in a way i am quite relieved, because it would save me having to bother finding ways to spend it or decide who to give it to and how much. 

today is the start of the boat show in excell, near canary wharf, and i was given a free ticket, can even bring  a guest, to go  this weekend. it runs till 17jan. but i confess even though initially, when i got the ticket, i had wanted to go, now i am not sure. i dont really like yachts or sailing or even luxury cruises;  i remember a time when i went sailing and keep pronouncing the word ‘yacht’ as it was spelt. when it should be pronounced ‘yot’. and my friends let me do so without correcting me. we laugh about it still.

i was thinking maybe i should go to the exhibition just to do something. but if i am not interested in it, must i go? people say depression is if u dont want to go anywhere or do anything.

they say that people who are depressed are people who are not interested in anything.

but maybe u are not depressed even if u show all these symptoms if u are quite happy about it. haha.

i like pottering around doing nothing and with no goal. i enjoy doing nothing. though if u have caught me when i was younger i too would be sad if i am in this situation . so when i was younger i would go looking for new things and new excitements , that was why i travelled so much when i was younger.

but now i have lost all desire to see new things, or do new things just for the sake of doing something.

i suppose it is a sign of growing older. i have noticed this amongst the old too, they tend to like just sittingin the sun and dozing, or do nothing at all. now of course, i dont think i like that , just dozing in the sun, so i am glad we got books and the internet. surfing the internet is a lot of fun. and reading books too.

like right now i am reading robert harris’ ‘dictator’ , the final trilogy of his life of cicero. it is all about the political machinations of cicero and his combat of wits with julius caesar,and pompey. it sounds dry but he writes very well, so that he brings it all alive. 

 

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