no respect for the elderly men nowadays and it is the parents’ fault

11 May

london 1.11pm, library

Digital StillCamera

Digital StillCamera

A little weary, I asked Louise, my nine-year-old, to let me sit down (I am 60, not incidentally) and to sit on my lap. She did so, but a minute later decided she wanted her chair back. I refused. As a result I was turned on as if by a trio of velociraptors, not only by Louise, but my wife and older daughter, who both insisted I was being unconscionably selfish. The atmosphere remained frosty for some time


i was made aware of this article by a letter writer in the letters page in today’s guardian, commenting on it. i was surprised too that his daughter did not teach the kids to respect the elderly, esp their elderly grandparents, and teach them to give up their seats without waiting to be asked. in fact she sided with the kid. it seems that they think old men are not allowed to sit down, but must give way to women and children. it is a bit sad to see it, sometimes, when i am on the tube or buses to see old men standing up when their women folk and the children are sitting down. no one seems to have considered that old men are tired too… and to be rewarded with this after working to keep them in comfort and a home, and now when old cannot even be asked to sit …. what a life!! who would want to be a father, i ask you!! errata, i read the whole article and read the comments and found out it was his daughter 9 yrs old;, he is an old man with a young daughter. he is a proper hen pecked husband and properly trained by his wife and daughters… he even apologise to his daughters for thinking they should give up their seats for him.

you could say it is his fault or his wife’s fault, for not teaching his daughter to respect the elderly…because if he had done so, she would have taught her children to make sure the elderly have a seat first. ..but it seems his wife thinks he is of no consequence… and is to be sacrificed for the children… i think it sad that the wife does not make sure he is looked after… one day his daughter too will be tufted out of her chair by her granddaughter . or maybe not because she seemed to be taught that women are a different case. her husband will be the one who has to stand. have to do that above as i have misread him entirely.

well having read the article more fully, i realise it is because they think of him as their father and not as their grandfather, and it is entirely his fault, as  he would not want them to think of him as an old person, to be looked after. he is or wants to give the impression that he is still capable of looking after them and not the other way round. that is the trouble when u are an old man becoming a father at your age. so it is entirely natural that the children dont think of their father as being old and decrepit and needs a seat before them… being an old father of young children is no fun at all… one wonders this guy is totally in the control of his womenfolk to be fooled into being a father at an old age.

 it would never happen in a chinese family… at least i hope not. but nowadays with the western ways being so globalised, i wont bet on it. but i am hoping chinese men will have some sense left not to pander to their wives to get a baby at their old age. nor do i think chinese wives want to have children when they are very old they know damn well how difficult it is to look after children when u are young nevermind when u are old.. though i read today of this old woman in india giving birth … in her 70s. so these western ideas are infiltrating into the east as well…

added.8.7.16 it looks like the reason why old women in china are having babies by ivf is because they lost their only child , or in that  case of woman in her 70s,it is to get a son so that the parents can claim an inheritance. 


12 Responses to “no respect for the elderly men nowadays and it is the parents’ fault”

  1. Carl D'Agostino Wednesday May 11, 2016 at 9:55 pm #

    My parents moved in with me in 2002. They we both 80. Mother diagnosed cancer in 2012 and lasted 6 weeks. I am retired teacher and was her home hospice nurse. Father still with me. He’s 92 now and I must drive, cook, take care of all bills and financial matters but he is sharp, alert and ambulatory.

    • alifesgayventure Wednesday May 11, 2016 at 10:46 pm #

      its good to hear that your father is alert and well at 92. it is what i would wish myself. but in those days our parents married young and have kids early. now we get fathers who are in their 60s when they have young kids. i cannot imagine what it is like to have a father that is as old as a grandfather when you are a kid, and not to have any grandparents alive when you are growing up.

    • Garfield Hug Thursday May 12, 2016 at 2:35 pm #

      You are a good filial son! Blessings will be upon you in your own old age in the future.

  2. MELewis Thursday May 12, 2016 at 6:48 am #

    I would far rather give up my seat to a child than be considered old at 60! 🙂

    • alifesgayventure Thursday May 12, 2016 at 7:22 am #

      maybe it is not about being old but about being tired. haha. in the past, we would put the child on our lap but maybe nowadays with all those paedo scares, no one does that now.

  3. Garfield Hug Thursday May 12, 2016 at 2:33 pm #

    Children these days are spoilt. The same here in my lil red. Awful little tykes and the millennials are self centred not caring about their aging parents.

    • alifesgayventure Thursday May 12, 2016 at 3:02 pm #

      the kids here are given everything. the parents just cannot bring themselves to refuse them anything. do u get this situation in singapore where you have this scooter thing that saves the kid walking, the kid is supposed to push it with one foot, but instead you have the mother pulling the scooter along with the kid standing on it. haha. when i see it i cannot help laughing. the poor mother, not only have to carry that baby in the womb for 9months, then suffer the agonies of childbirth, and then all the expense of rearing it, and now this, the kid cannot even walk on his own, but wants the mother to pull him along… like a mule. i hope the kid appreciate his mother.

      • Garfield Hug Thursday May 12, 2016 at 3:40 pm #

        Yup! The same. Mum creates own Frankentein.

    • Carl D'Agostino Friday May 13, 2016 at 2:58 am #

      Spoilt. Ah, now that’s good Brooklyn , New Yorkism for spoiled. Love it.

  4. alifesgayventure Friday May 13, 2016 at 6:38 am #

    somehow i think spoilt seems more appropriate, in that spoiled seems to imply they are in the process of , whilst spoilt suggests that they allready are. the english language i think is perfect in that way, we can put nuances to the words in any way we like…just so we can dissect the meanings in finer and finer slices…so that we get the satisfaction of putting across how we feel about it with great precision. i think cantonese is even better at it ; it has this quality. where a well chosen word, or even the tone it is said… can express mountains of meaning but only to those who are in the know.

    • Carl D'Agostino Friday May 13, 2016 at 8:10 pm #

      Yes, English lexicon allows us to be very precise in what we mean.

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