bright mornings for now, and touching women unconsciously.

29 Oct

london 7.48am 14.7C sunny sunday 2017 sunrise 6.48am, sunset 4.38pm

woke up at 7am and it was daylight. this is the first day after the clocks go back. so different from yesterday. very nice i thought. you can tell i am a liking for lighter mornings as opposed to lighter evenings. 

i was watching these two horror tv films last night, but they were quite dull , one was the remake of fright night, the other was called aaaargh, a rather silly film about people still being ape-like, and have no speech, even though they live in a highly technological world. so i stopped watching at 1am, which became 12midnight when i turned back the clock. so i only have 7 hrs sleep but really felt fine.

its halloween so that explains why there were so many horror films last night.

this morning i saw this article about adam sandler resting his hand on the lap of the woman guest sitting next to him. you can see he was unconscious of it, busy talking about something. but the gesture seems to make the other woman uncomfortable…. and seeing it, i realise why there is so much fuss by woman about men touching them, and calling it sexual assault. to me, it is nothing… i wonder how many men also think that… and maybe that is where women and men diverge in their thinking. to me, it is a small thing nothing to warrant that aversion reaction from her. she acts as if he is infectious or a beggar pawing her… but i guess plenty women will think she is acting normally.

it reminds me of my growing up days when we unconsciously touch the shoulder or arm of people we were talking to .and it can be to either or to all genders…. this is real common action amongst men and women, in malaysia and singapore… and we thought nothing of it. i was thinking if the laws in malaysia and singapore are like those in the uk, or america, they too would be accused of sexual assaults by those women. except the courts in malaysia and singapore dont look on these accusations with the same degree of bias as they do here. you could say women here in the west are too sensitive to interpret these unconscious touching as assaults. 

and in the same paper today, what about this touching conviction in dubai, by this guy who was only allowed out of jail because he was pardoned by the ruler. it seems if the country’s laws allow it, there will be people who will bring these accusations to court and have the court convict. it looked like he made rude gestures and behaved badly,  which must have annoyed that person, so when he was touched  on the hips he thought he saw a chance to make trouble for him , and accuse him of assault… i can understand that reaction, when someone made a rude remark to you, or a rude gesture, you really want to get your own back on him, and make him suffer. usually u do something petty, like spit on his coffee, if u are a waiter, or hide whatever he is looking for, or misdirect him, but if the law allows, you can accuse him of sexual assault, that would get him allright. what is bizarre, is that the man who accused him of touching, is a white guy, not a citizen of dubai, and a ceo of a big company too. 

so it looks like this is two guys rubbing each other up the wrong way… both literally and figuratively, haha… but in a place like dubai, or any arabian country with their strict laws about modesty and no alcohol, your scanty clothing and very presence can easily cause many to be offended who would happily bring in accusations on you, just to teach you a lesson. it reminds me of all those locals in majorca or barcelona who have demonstrated that they are fed up of tourists… so they puncture tyres, and generally make the lives of some tourists hell, but if they could i am sure they would accuse tourists of sexual assaults … if only they can find a way to make it stick. but if they cannot, they will rape them. especially when the tourists get drunk and become incapable. it seems to me it is just humans being nasty to each other because somehow they rub against each other in a bad way… there was a video in that article showing how he touched that guy who accused him in dubai, but looking at it, i could not help thinking if he did that to a woman here, i bet she will and can get him convicted for sexual assault. he touched her bum, didn’t he? you could say he touched her waist, but that is just splitting hairs… sexual assault definitions are so fluid these days.

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2 Responses to “bright mornings for now, and touching women unconsciously.”

  1. Sarah M Monday October 30, 2017 at 11:26 am #

    This whole touching thing is very hard. I used to work with someone who would always be touching; he didn’t do anything that I could actually complain about (because I’d feel that everyone would think I was being difficult) but I used to cringe whenever he came near me.
    A lot of men use this as an intimidation technique; if you say anything they act all innocent: ‘oh I’m a very tactile person..’ the implication being that it’s my problem.
    It seems a good thing that we can now say ‘actually I don’t want you touching me at all’. I don’t like being hugged by virtual strangers, a lot of people aren’t comfortable with that.

  2. alifesgayventure Monday October 30, 2017 at 11:41 am #

    you have been in china… do they touch freely as in s.e.asia? or is it only a s.e.asia thing. many men do it without thinking… it is so ingrained in s.e.asia. and this is so of the men, i think we just dont think about it as an intrusive thing at all. but to women, they are not comfortable with it, but they never say anything to the men about it. its like they expect the men to know when they move away that they object to it…. but i truly believe many men are not aware that women think it is a bad thing to do. i myself dont touch women but that is because i am gay, so women are like invisible to me. haha. but i know i would be absolutely shocked if a woman were to tell me if i accidentally touched them that they find it offensive. in asia, where there are so many people u will be touched in a crowd, and if you start being so sensitive about it, god help you. you will be constantly in a state of shock and feel abused everywhere u go.

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