a lone time

5 Jan

london 4.32pm 11.1C dark dry friday 2017 2018

another mild day in london. i took the bus to the aldi in the old kent road. in fact it is the only branch of aldi in the whole of london. they were selling tomatoes cheap, at 39p for 6. so i bought two packs; and cooked beetroot, and celery. and i bought their peanuts , 2x200mg for 48p each. so worth the journey even though it necessitates taking two buses. not the first time i am thankful for my freedom pass.

then after a bit of rest at home, i took the bus to the virgin lounge in haymarket. it is very pleasant in the lounge. i went after 2pm, so the lunch time crowd have all gone. i dont have any friends who are members so i tend to go alone and dont talk to anyone. i think it is meant to be a social place where u meet with friends but i dont have any friends who go there.

i prefer to just read the papers on my own without any conversations. in fact when others talk near me, it is rather distracting… so when i go there, i tend to keep to myself. not very socialable of me, i know. but thank goodness they dont try to make you socialise. in fact, i think there are a lot of others there who are like me. they are on their own reading the papers, or doing things on their laptops. 

i am so used to being on my own, and dont really crave company. i am not that kind of person who really cannot live without having other people around. those kinds of people are really to be pitied… it is awful to crave company, any company, and then find you cannot attract those people who like your company and you end up seeking all the time to find such company… all the time hating to be alone. i am just thankful that i am not like that. 

i know it is unusual for single old or young people to want to be on their own. from what i gather by listening to people on the tv, or the newspapers expounding their views that they all want to meet others and chit chat and socialise. but i find chit chat can be very boring. i hear people say old folks are lonely when they are living alone, and want to have lots of company…so that charities are set up to try to introduce people to befriend old people ;

but i am one of the old folks, and i dont really want a lot of company. what is the point of conversation with others? the only thing which might be useful is to have someone hear your complains. haha. and to hear your opinions. that is if you are the kind of person who likes to sprout forth and give your views on anything and everything and want an audience for it. needless to say i am not that kind of person.

otherwise, you might say u want to hear other people’s opinions, but frankly if they hold views that u disagree with, you will soon want to steer clear of those people.

in the end, it seems to me we all want to talk of our opinion, and not want to hear other peoples’ especially if they are opposite to ours. so what is the point right> you might as well set up stall in speakers corner and talk all about it, and see if u can gather a crowd so u can expostulate your views. and enjoy argueing with the heckler in the crowd. it is all pointless in the end. you are never going to convince anyone who is not allready convinced. i think i much prefer what i am doing now, just enjoying london and its facillities on my own, and in my own time, sampling things at my own pace and leisure, and my own choosing;  and simply enjoying my home, and having simon around. we dont even need to be talking all the time, it is just nice to feel his presence. and dont have to be obliged to do anything to please another, or to perform a duty. such bliss!




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