16 Apr

london 6.25pm 14.7C sunny monday 2018

I have found out , when i went to see the dentist, for an abscess, that the tooth is split. it is unsaveable, and will need to come out. when i gave the dentist the list of medication, she said she had to ask my doctor to see what antibiotics i can take that wont interfere with the medicine. she said those medicines are so new, she is not familiar with them. and then she said i will have to be referred to the hospital to have the tooth taken out, as they dont have the facillities to do it in the dental clinic. i suspect as much… at least for now, i dont have any pain, just a slight swelling and slightly tender bump over the root of the tooth. it is a upper right canine. at least my dental trouble is not so unfamiliar as i was a dentist and knows more or less what is going on. it must have been split for some time. when the tooth is split, there is no other solution but extraction. i shall most probably go for a denture, as i am too wary of having more dental treatment. i want to keep it simple.  all that cutting and grinding if i opt for a bridge just cannot bear thinking about; and implants i think is too much trouble. at my age, i am not so concerned with aesthetics anymore.

all the time, i try  to keep things in perspective… life is not too bad really. or rather it could be worst. so that at least is something to be grateful for. there is no urgency nor pain, no emergency in other words. so i shall look on the bright side of it. i emailed a few friends to make arrangements to meet them and chat. i can do with human contacts. and i can chat with my friend from usa. he is leaving for home tomorrow. and he is quite a bit far removed to not be too overwhelmed with things happening to me. though having said all that he told me last night when he was in the gay club , he found he was very conscious of poppers being offerred to him, asking himself whether he really wanted to take the risk . so my heart attack had made him think twice. so he said that was why he did not join in, turned down 4 guys individually  who invited him and came home early. so i jokingly, but with some truth, said i am so sorry that i am the cause of it. in a way…and we both laughed , but sadly as well… 

sometimes hearing all this can make a person who is not me get more saddened…i know i get more sad just hearing what happens to my friends…  that is why i sometimes dont tell people because it makes them sad, and i dont want them to feel sad. there is after all nothing they can do. and they might imagine i am in pain when i am not… sometimes their imagination  can make them feel worse than the person who is having all this happening to him.

 

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