Tag Archives: desire

suger daddy

25 Sep

london 8.26pm 15.7C (its a nice day, cloudy with sun) friday

i have been out with an older friend of mine (he is mid70s yrs old) who recently had his boyfriend (28yrs old) dump him for a woman. they had been together for 14months. he said he cannot live without someone to love him. the ex is bi, and said he wanted children. or that was the excuse he gave for breaking up.

my friend is really heartbroken about it. he is now having to rewrite his will, as he had made the ex  the beneficiary of his will. he told me the boyfriend wanted to be married, but he said he want to wait at least 3yrs before he does it. 

then i came back and read this in my wordpress reader, from reddit who ask users to ask him anything about his relationship; a 24yr old who said he is marrying an older guy 51yrs old £11million wealthy for his money. at least they know what they are getting into. money for sex and companionship. 

and i thought hmm, if my friend was worth that much he could buy someone  to love him, and that would fulfill his desire to always have someone to love him back. he tells me he just feels life is not worth living if he does not have someone to love and love him back. that might be what motivates that millionaire too, enough to buy that love. 

 the fact he cannot find anyone to stick around and provide him with a person who he can lavish his love on and who can give him that loving feeling back is because he is not rich enough to find one. he is a demanding boyfriend. he does not want the boyfriend to work nights, (even though the boyfriend gets paid more for it and he said the boyfriend has been showing him his payslip and lamenting he is not getting paid enough) because he says he provides free housing and board, and that is his contribution and in return he wants the boy to be faithful and  to be with him when he is not working, sharing all the loving and doving moments.

i thought it was a bit unrealistic. haha. for that amount of control, i would expect that person to have a £11 million fortune at least and be generous to me with it too. haha. i have a thought, if my friend is perceptive enough he could write about his experience and it would be a nice novel. what say you eh? i was thinking if he were straight, he would be having children and be able to practise his kind of excessive loving and attention seeking from his children who will have no choice but to do it. perhaps that is why some parents are so eager to have kids… so that they can boss them about and demand their love and generally have someone to be a tyrant over and have complete control over. pity those kids of that kind of parent.

my friend needs people. i think people who needs people are the loneliest people in the world.

Humans of New York

27 May

Humans of New York.

she said something that i think is very profound.

she said ‘In reality, they are happy because for a brief moment, they are without desire.