london.
a friend got so offended at what i wrote about him, that he called me to tell me saying he wrote an email to ask me not to visit him again, but did not send it, and called me instead.
i was amazed that he was angry at me writing about him in my blog and talking about his health problems. maybe in hindsight i should have realised that he would not like it told to all and sundry.
but if that is the case what is there to write about? or rather have i need to be careful what i write in future because he can read it?
so i decided i shall start a new blog that is completely separate from the old one, where i can write what the hell i want about my friends, warts and all and they wont be offended because i hope they will never know about this blog and never read it.
i know plenty of blogs that have suddenly been erased. i know why now after this happened to me. it was because someone they know, whether a parent , or friend, or whatever has discovered the blog and were offended or hurt that they have told their secrets to all and sundry… all hell was let loosed.
of course, the blogger never realised that they were secrets, and like me maybe they thought no names were mentioned so no one would know that person anyway. but of course to the injured person who was talked about, they being hung up about the very thing will only feel humiliated. even if it was never the intention by the blogger.
i bet many of them closed that blog after the hoo haa, just to get rid of the aggro and started a new one that no one they know will ever be invited to read.
so that is why i am starting this blog.
it is only for strangers, and all those who know me shall i hope never come here. haha.
it all started because i went to visit this friend. in a seaside town near me.
i went to visit him for a shagging holiday. it was for 3days.
but unfortunately, he developed back trouble, and so gone off sex altogether. that means no sex for me too. bugger!! but of course i did not let him know how i feel. haha.
he had enough troubles what with his bad back and all, for me to tell him of my frustration.
i wrote about his health, and said ‘poor chappie’ and he told me he went absolutely angry at me telling all the world about his private affairs.
i was careful to make no mention of the town, or his name, or any thing that might refer back to him, but he was not appeased.
he said he wrote an email at first asking me not to visit him again. but cancelled it and decided to call me instead.
i was shocked that he was angry at what i wrote. to me it was just an account of my impression. but after we talked, with me being very apologetic saying i had no inkling he would be angry, or i would have asked his permission, or even, not write about it at all, we established that he was angry not at the things i said about him, but that i wrote it in my blog for all the world to read, even if he was not named.
personally i think he was overreacting. no one need know who i was talking about. it was just his guilty conscience , and his awful bad back that has stopped him from having sex and a good time that made him not want me talking of it.
at one stage i was wondering if it was better to just not visit him again, and gradually give up the friendship.
the truth can be painful , and he might not like to hear me say ‘lets call it a day’.
why am i thinking of giving up seeing him?
we have known each other on and off for many years.
but on a casual basis.
he might not like me saying so, that this relationship to me is not so much a friendship as a fuck buddy.
he says he has looked up to me, and idolises me, and that is why it hurts so much when he finds i have betrayed his trust by writing about it in my blog. (another blog which he knows about)
i was surprised at him saying he idolises me. he is older than me, so why is he idolising me. ridiculous really.
he said i have told him things that he had at first been very offended but not say so to me about it, that he found later as he mulled over it, he realised it makes sense and
it actually made him change his opinion or way of life.
i asked him tell me of some of those times when what i said offended you. i said i really want to know because if
u said it offended u at first but u later realised it makes sense and u changed , how do i know when what i said is a good offensive remark and when does it tip over into a bad offensive remark.
ok, i know it has tipped over to a bad offensive remark like now when i blogged publicly and that is what u tell me u did not like.
but it was not so straightforward as that. we discussed it somemore and he finally admitted that it was not the remark i made in my blog, that he found offensive, it was the fact that it was written up in my blog for all to see.
so my remarks may still belong in that category of offensive at first but later turn out to be sensible and helpful. it was just that he did not like me writing about it on my blog.
sounds so much like someone telling me what to write and what not to write on my blog and wanting to dictate it.
it made me realise that my old blog cannot be used by me to express my opinion about my friends if they can read it.
no one likes to read what is said about them that is not flattering.
hence this blog i am making now.
i guess everyone who blogs sooner or later comes across this problem.
i am surprised it took me so long to encounter it. maybe many of my friends have read my blog and my opinion of them and quietly left me. without saying they were angry with me.
i may have just accepted their removal of their friendship as natural progression of a friendship that has run its course.
do i regret them leaving? not really, if i wanted their friendship i would have contacted them and kept in touch. so the feeling must be mutual.
but it shows that maybe it is unwise to test a friendship to such an extent.
so i think it better to make a new blog and never tell your friends about it and never let anyone u know read it.
then u can write truly from your heart , expressing frank observations of your friends and their situation.
u may ask why be so devious as to put up a blog slagging of your friends. but it is not done in a mean minded way or vindictive way. it is just me saying what i think.
it is not necessarily what is true, for each of us sees things differently, and i am sure another will interpret the same actions in a different more kindly way, or more nasty way.
but whatever it is, it is my honest opinion, much as it be false, or mistaken.
many times when i hear a friend talking about something we both know, my friend’s way of seeing it is very different from mine. his interpretation of the other person’s actions are at odds with mine.
that is why i know each persons opinion is not really worth much. even mine.
so dont agree with me. but dont oppose my thinking either, as u read future posts where i state things.
‘i will do it differently’, u will say. or you will say ‘ but ur interpretation is wrong’, or u might say ‘that is not how i see it, and that u are just being very selfcentred and putting things in your friends head and second guessing what he thinks and doing it all wrong’.
well, go and write your own blog.haha.
u may well be right. haha. but this is my blog and i can and will make what to u will be silly statements.
i think u might later find u agree with me, as my friend said to me that many times remarks i made that he said he was very offended by at the time i made it and which he says were crap remarks… he later finds it makes sense and it actually made him change .
when he told me this, i cannot help thinking ‘i know ‘… but i did not say so of course. it would not be tactful.
my friend do not know himself well.
u know the saying, ‘know yourself’, my friend is far from that state.
anyway, i dont want to say i know everything, but i know quite a bit about life.
and have made my own life exactly the way i like it.
now u know of the advise, namely if u see someone who is very happy with his life, and u see things run smoothly in it, shouldn’t u at least
acknowledge that he knows something about life? and u should listen to him?
i would.
i would not ask the advise about life of someone whose own life is a mess. just as u wont ask financial advise from someone who is a bankrupt or who is in debt, would you?
Tags: gay, gay male, gay sex
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