Tag Archives: humour

salty macsaltface

17 Feb

london 1.49pm 11.5C sunny friday 2017

some time ago i remember a council asking people to name a gritter. and today i see it has been named as salty macsaltface. haha. i would have liked gritter garbo myself. i guess the garbo name must have a copyright on it. 

 

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richard littlejohn

10 Jan

london 5.54am (so early to wake up) 6.2C tuesday 2017.

usually i am not a fan of richard littlejohn, who writes for the daily mail, but this column by him is so funny it gave me a good laugh so early in the morning. and i had to mention it. hope it gives u a good laugh too. as with any humour it has more than a sprinkling of unsettling truths about it.

All you need to know about actresses is that they insist on being known as ‘actors’ until the Golden Globes and the Oscars come around, at which time they are quite happy to be nominated for ‘Best Actress’.

 

Unfortunately, one day the woman didn’t turn up and Tom insisted that Gillian did the decent thing. He told her: ‘I’ve taken my Viagra, so you’ll have to do it.’ She refused and when Tom tried to force himself upon her, she had to beat him off with a hammer.

this is about how an old man solves that problem of loneliness in old age.

gritter garbo

24 Nov

london 2.01pm 11.3C cloudy friday 2016

this article gave me a good laugh. it is a council asking suggestions to name a gritter. and getting hilarious suggestions. gritty macgritface of course, was suggested. 

Oldham Council has launched a competition to name its new gritting machine, and has predictably been inundated with witty and pithy suggestions a la Boaty McBoatface

added. 5.29pm 10.1c cloudy . i was at the library and saw an advert by morrisons they are selling whole gressingham duck 2kg for £5. i was craving duck so i went there and bought two. i am roasting one now, the other i shall stew with chinese herbs. its not often we can get such ducks for that price. they got giblings included too , a long neck, heart, lungs or is it liver?. no gizzard though.pity that because i love gizzards. i included the neck to roast with the duck in the oven. but the others i shall stir fry i think.) and i have so much more of carrots left so i will roast another batch of carrots. it is very easy to eat roast carrots.  it is one of those strange effects that when roasted, veg get so much sweeter. have u notice that too? parsnips, onions, now carrots are so much sweeter when roasted. 

i must remember not to believe anything tomorrow

31 Mar

london 5.51pm 12.8C sunny thursday 2016

today is the last day of march, and tomorrow is april fools day.

allready some wit is saying because of the leap year, april fools day this year will fall on  the 2nd of april. so expect more of that kind of thing tomorrow.

i shall be reading the news with a great deal of scepticism tomorrow. too bad if it is legit, but my advise to anyone is not to believe or  agree to anything tomorrow. and if u are going to ask anything of anyone dont do it tomorrow. dont have any advertisement u are thinking of doing let it appear tomorrow. otherwise u wont get any replies as everyone will be very wary of it being an april fools trick. 

personally i dislike april fool tricks. to me they are hoaxes and i dislike hoaxes, wherever they are done. i find attempts at generating laughter by using hoaxes are the lowest of the low form of humour.

what is not an april fool trick is that tomorrow all over 25s will get increased pay, as the new minimum rate kicks in. its good news for them, though they might find other benefits are removed , like higher rate for weekends and nights.

to understand why it applies only to over 25s read this.

another amusing article

18 Jan

london 11.18am 6.9C cloudy, monday 2016

this one is from the quick reads in the guardian, a funny pithy summary of the latest popular book. it is about the japanese authoress kondo, with her self improvement book about tidying. 

liz jones, daily mail writer

18 Jan

london 8.53pm, monday 2016, 5.8C cloudy

she might not be to everyone’s taste, but this post is funny.

i like she is not afraid to poke fun at herself, and not afraid to put herself out there, warts and all.

she writes of spending wastefully in the past , and how extravagant she was, sounds like she enjoyed herself spending money then.

everyone should have memories like that to look back on, now that they are in the present, either forced to economise, or came to their senses and live ‘sensibly’. haha.

i have memories like those myself, and now i can laugh at myself then. it was wasteful, but it was a lot of fun too. 

luke, wookie

16 Dec

london 9.57pm. 14.7C wednesday 2015

this website is very spot on. i actually caught that weather report and saw it just when she said those words. and i had my subtitles on and it translated her ‘look’ as ‘luke’. i noticed it but i dont think it translated the ‘lucky’ into ‘wookie’ though when i heard it again, in the video, it did sound like ‘wookie’.

i had a good laugh over it, thanks to these guys in yamadonkey. haha. they are very quick on the uptake, hats off to them to record it and put it up so quickly on the website. and very apt especially tonight, when there was all the hoohaa and live webcam of the premiere opening night of star wars 7 in leicester square.  there are more star wars referrals in that weather report, see if u can spot them. clever of her to put them in so smoothly. 

 added 17.12.15 one newspaper has written about it with some of the star war references. its rather amusing i think.