Tag Archives: old people

is it dementia or is it just plain stupid

4 Feb

london 9.24am 4.4C overcast sunday 2018

time is slow, i woke at about 7.30am and it seems i was awake a long time, surfing the net, but i see it is only 9.26am now. i am waiting for about 10.30am to take the bus to paddington library as it opens at 11am. funny how sometimes time goes so fast, and other times it drags along. but i saw 2 articles in the guardian about old people. one is about 78yr old who is having fun living on £18,000 a year. i can relate to her, because it is really very cheap to live , even in london, and she got a lot of spare cash to indulge.

the other is about someone’s grandmother, who had always gone over her broadband allowance from BT, and have to pay  a lot for the excess. when her grandchild the writer, checked her bills, she found she had been paying this overcharge for a long time. it seems to me strange that the old lady never queries her bill from BT. being old does not make u stupid, unless dementia has set in and that has made them stupid. but it gives other old people a bad name; in that everyone expects old people to be stupid… or rather they all say he got dementia…maybe it is the same thing. so we all lump stupid old people with people with dementia. and no wonder we then say the statistics for dementia have gone up.

added. i just have a thought, how come that old lady went over her broadband usage quota, if she is so technophobic she would not be online long enough to go over the limit every month. makes u wonder what the real story is. 

incidentally, i dont know why BT is still putting a limit on broadband usage. every package of theirs should be for unlimited broadband, like talktalk. and why people still use BT is another mystery. i would even go further to say if u are using BT, you are stupid. there!!! i suppose people will be throwing their kitchen sink at me for saying that.haha.

my old friend, the one who asked me to check his computer, told me his BT package is £75 a month. and he says he hardly use any of it. i told him just call them and ask them to change it. but for some reason he seems reluctant to do it. i wonder whether he is a bit deaf and also cannot understand if u talk too fast, and he says the BT person, and in fact everyone he talks to on the phone for services talks too fast and he cannot understand them… hmm, maybe that is the problem.

and all those people manning the phones are young, they dont understand about talking fast. you really have to talk slow and always go back and ask, ‘tell me if you understand that or if i am talking too fast for you’… now i am old i do know what their problem is, because i too sometimes have to say ‘say again’, when someone says something i cannot understand, i give as my reason their accent, but i daresay it might be they are talking fast and i too am getting into that old age mode of not being able to listen fast. fortunately i have not got to that stage where i dont understand them even if they say it again…and again haha.

and it has not stopped me from ringing these services and changing my tariff if i feel i am paying too much. one thing i know about myself is that i go straight to the point, and ask point blank, whilst i know plenty of old people go round and round the point… like my old friend who was telling me something, and went all over the place and then lost what he was trying to say. haha. so if they do that when on the line to these help lines, that might make them unable to make the other person on the line know what is bothering them. i told him just say my monthly package is too expensive and i want you to help me bring it down. and when they start going through all the list of things that he does with the package , just say no, which is what he is doing anyway, he does not use any of its tv services. i think he is not even aware of the free calls he can make , or free text messages he can use… 

i have noticed this too, that old people like to tell a story and like to give u the background of it, setting the scene as it were and then give the punch line, but they are so muddled that they forget what it was they are trying to say when the punchline came round. it is a chore to listen, because you have to listen to a lot of irrelevant things before getting to the point they want to make. and then when u want to hear more about that point, they stop.

oh there is another reason why an old person sticks to one provider even though they know it is expensive. this is another old friend of mine who sticks with BT, because he says they are responsible for the last bit of line to his home, and so he is scared to move to another provider in case something happens to his line that runs to his house, and they wont be able to sort it out because they are not BT. it is a misunderstanding of the situation, but there was no getting him to see sense. 

added. hey, i got an insight that might explain why old people are alone, and feeling lonely. they cannot stand being with other old people who are at a deeper stage of senility than them, and at the same time they cannot listen fast enough to young people who talk too fast. and to find people that is at the same stage of senility is too boring for them, as they prefer younger people. so all these factors just make them really irritated at any company and drives everyone away. 

i have a feeling that being alone and possibly feeling lonely is inevitable as you grow older. for one thing all your friends would have died, the longer u live, so that will make u end up alone. it is not easy to make new friends, that i know. as i go older, i find younger people have nothing of common interest with me, and any friends i make of my own age or older sooner or later die off… or get to suffer all kinds of medical conditions that limit their socialising. fortunately for me, i like being on my own. i rather be on my own than to be with someone who is insufferable. i have known people like that and so whenever i find myself alone, and wonder if i should go seek out company, i remember those people and settle back to my own ways, thoroughly glad i dont have to suffer those people anymore. 

bought 5packs of these chipolatas 340mg for 39p reduced £1.55 in waitrose this morning. and got a free cappuccino too. very good value these. they are just thinner sausages really so quicker to cook.

things are not too bad,

5 Apr

london 12.28pm 13C sunny. wednesday 2017

i saw this in my wordpress reader in yamadonkey

and it reminded me of a conversation i had yesterday with a chinese guy who i made contact with in a gay website. we were going to get free icecream from ben and jerry at vue cinema in fulham broadway. we got the icecream, hardly any queue, but then it was just when they opened so it was early.

but what led to talking of dementia, was his telling me he volunteers to be a helper for chinese old people in london, because he speaks mandarin, cantonese, and so there is a charity that helps these minorities with a few hours of companionship and help each week.

he also says he works 2-3days for council to look after their dementia people again for the chinese speaking clients. he is meant to spend  2 visits per week,  and twice a day. once at breakfast to prepare it and once for lunch. but he says plenty of workers are now leaving because of the way council have changed the work practise. in the past, the system to sign in how long they are at a session can be manipulated so each worker can use his discretion, how long to spend … it seems they give him 1hr for breakfast, (maybe because he has to help dress and clean them too, i dont know, he tells me someone else takes care of that once a week. these old people it seems need only to bathe once a week it seems. so maybe he dont even have to do that. i think perhaps it is to give him time to spend with the patient, chatting or whatever) but only half hour for lunch. he said it is not enough time at lunch but too much time for breakfast, so he steals some of the breakfast time to use at lunch. but since the council introduced a signing in system, using the home telephone… they now have to stay for the full allocated time,  1hr for breakfast. when they finished earlier they cant go on to the next customer and when the day’s  round come to lunch time for that customer they would have less time to make up for by  taking longer than the half hour allocated for lunch.

i doubt the council will give them overtime for the lunch hour. but i can understand the council being worried about the other system being subject to manipulation. after all not everyone is conscientous , and can be tempted to rush through their chores and finish early and go off. also, i suppose the 1 hr at breakfast is to give time to spend wiht the dementia person. added. 11.4.17, read this article about 900 carers quit everyday. is the reason because of the change in logging in their time spent on each person? perhaps for the sake of making their work load more enjoyable they should revert to the old system. i think it a poorly paid job myself and for that alone might be the reason for carers leaving. one mentioned if a supermarket shelf packer can earn more than her, why does she even bother being a carer really, and i would agree with her. unfortunately there is no profit to be made from an old person needing care. perhaps my suggestion that they have a lodger or be encouraged to live with someone… is a idea whose time has come. to have free accommodation, or reduced rent would be a great incentive for a lodger. sounds like a win-win situation for both.


many of these people who live in their homes, live alone. and i think that is the crux of it. i think they should live with others. even if it is a lodger, or friend who gets free lodging, or pay a reduced rent. the lodger need not be the official carer. all that is needed is someone in the house. to switch off things left on by the dementia person. because that seems to be one of the manifestations of their forgetfulness. my friend mentioned leaving the stove on, and i daresay they do other things too, like leaving lights on, the tv on, water taps on, etc. but in the big scheme of things it is not dangerous nor upsetting . just switch it off when u see it. that is why someone living there is crucial.

there is a fire hazard to leaving something cooking on the stove and forgotten, but it should be easy to put up a control system whcih will activate the lever to snap shut if that happens. my flat has such a system, and believe me in the early days it has done its job.  u dont need to be dementia to leave things burning on the stove.

and someone living there will sort it out when they come back from work. ideally the old person should live in a big household with 3 generations under one roof, something that is common in s.e.asia. but of course not so here in uk.

there are degrees of dementia, and i assume those he sees in their own home must not have the extreme version, and can cope. that is why i would advocate allocating them a lodger or someone to live there. but of course here in this country there is no custom of shared accommodation.

no one in asia expects that they should  live alone in a big house. at least not any one i know. they all assume it will be filled with friends, relations, or even lodgers. but not so in this country. perhaps they should.

dont tell me what to do, said this old person

20 Feb

london 11.44am 12.7C cloudy saturday 2016

i was surprised when the library person came to me and ask me if i am on the wifi. i said yes, and it turned out that a old couple , man and woman, was unable to log onto the library wifi.

i went over to them, as i was curious why they could not. their laptop says the connection was weak. they were using firefox. so i said switch to internet explorer or chrome, instead of these uncommon browsers. he said he liked firefox so dont tell him what to do. well, when i heard that, i simply made a ‘huh huh’ and moved away. if u are going to expect me to help u dont start off by saying dont tell me what to do. if u know so much u wont have this problem. i find that is the trouble with old people.  they dont want to be told, and yet, they get into problems with the internet. and should welcome people who will tell them. my way of dealing with old people who tell me not to tell them what to do, is to drop them, and let them squeak in their own juices. 

so i went back to my laptop, and continued to read the papers.

later i saw them leaving, so it looked like they were unable to get online even using internet explorer, or whatever it is called now. haha. its quite possible they are using the old internet explorer which is being replaced by what is it?, the name escapes me  for the moment.

but there is a way of doing it to get online that is not intuitive and what u would expect. haha. but i am not going to help them. hehe.