Tag Archives: socialising

just pondering on friendship

16 Jan

london 3pm 9C slight rain, wednesday 2019

i had a phone call on my landline this morning, and because talktalk, my telephone provider had put in place a new system to ask callers to identify themselves first, to let me decide to accept the call or not, i had to either press 1 to accept the call, 2, to accept the call for this time only, or 3 block it entirely. or i can ignore it by putting down the phone. i heard the caller identify himself, but i could not recognise the name and i thought it might be the person from a financial services firm that have been calling me before, so i decided to put down the phone. and ever since then i have been a bit worried that i had missed an important call. haha. simon was expecting some response from his passport application, and i thought maybe it might be from the passport people.

so i spent the whole morning being very unsettled so much so that i did not feel like going to east ham, in east london to the fresh market there to buy vegetables. esp chillis, garlic, ginger, and i am running out of those too. 

but luckily around now, simon told me he got word from the passport people that they will cancel the passport they said they sent but which we never received and to issue him with another one, and this time for him to collect it at the passport office in victoria instead of them sending it to our flat.

so i am glad that is sorted out and the phone call was not important after all. but it made me wonder if all this new security features on our phone, whose purpose is to stop cold callers, is not stopping us from being contacted by friends, and making us more isolated than ever. some friends might even be put off by having to identify themselves first before they are connected and might not call anymore.

i am hoping that they will still email me, something that i prefer actually. and i think that is what my friends would do with me anyway, as i am never a fan of phone calling. it is because it costs money to call people, or text them… but it cannot be the only reason because there was a time when i got a package on my landline where i get free calls and free texts and i still did not bother to call people to chat.

i notice i have gradually lost touch with friends. i think it is because i am a bit of a hermit, i have always been self sufficient and not like being sociable and it seems to have become worst as i get older. and i follow solitary pursuits, so dont really rely on another person. in the past i at least have some friends to go holidaying with, but i have not felt the urge to travel anymore , so all those friends have fallen by the wayside.

travelling is a very good hobby … new sights and sounds, keeps you interested and delighted. but i think to be practical, when you get old, there are lots of things that will negate travelling. health concerns, travel insurance (it gets more expensive and sometimes may not even be able to buy any), vaccinations, (recently a prominent scientist died from a yellow fever vaccination that is risky if you are over 60yrs old.) and you might lose the ability to withstand the rigours of travel.

you might consider travel if u just like to go on a cruise, or live in a warm climate, now that would be doable. most of us would consider it a reasonable travel wishlist, to just go to live in spain, or spend time there and just do whatever they would do if they were in uk, but instead of in the cold, they will be in the warmth of spain. but they might be living all by themselves there , so being alone might still apply even if they are in spain. with the language barrier, they might find it less easy to find friendship with the locals and have to rely on fellow expats and it will be very lucky to find fellow expats that you like. in a way, cruises are the most likely places to find company and friendships, or at least find people to do things with. no wonder so many old people go on cruises.

added 10.40pm. i read a blog where someone said a friend just used them to gain business contacts and i was thinking maybe friendship is overrated. maybe practically all friendships depands on what advantages each can get out of the other. be it material, or emotional advantages. and maybe that is how friendship works. after all i remember a friend saying he has friends that he can rely on in his time of need, or to get support from, and who he would do the same if they need it. whereas for me, i dont see my friends like that. i fervently hope that i never have to depand on them. and at the same time, i hope they never have to depand on me. why cant our friendship be based on mutual liking each other’s company and companionship? i believe it can be done but maybe mine is a minority opinion, and that is why i dont have many friends. haha.