Tag Archives: souls

a bicycle accident with a car

16 Aug

london 8.28am 15.6C bright wednesday 2017

yesterday i was coming back from meeting a friend who lives in hallesden,  and saw a bicycle accident with a car. it was a car at a junction turning right , and colliding with a woman riding a bicycle who had right of way. fortunately the car and bike was going slowly, so the car merely pushed the cyclist across the road. it was right in front of the bus i was on and i had a grandstand view as i was sitting in front. the driver of the car just did not see the cyclist, that is why. in her haste to turn right when she saw our bus coming, she clean forgot to make sure there is no traffic coming the other way. and it has to be said i did not notice the cyclist too. head on, it is difficult to see a cyclist.

it makes me realise it is real dangerous to be cycling, even if u stay alert, u cannot compensate for motorists who just dont see you and hit you.

it is all because there is no clear cut separation of car traffic from cycle traffic. in this country even if there is a separate cycle path , there is no law that forbids cyclists from using the road. for eg, there is a good cyclist path through the park from hyde park corner to marble arch, but you can still find cyclists fighting with cars and buses along park lane. and as for vauxhall, huge amounts of money and disruption to build the cycle paths, but u can still see cyclists who ignore it all and use the road. and it is not helped by the cycle path suddenly disappearing after u cross the bridge and cycle along vauxhall bridge road towards victoria. the path just disappears. forcing the cyclists to cut across traffic to the other side to continue their way on the bus lane.

and then today i read of this 19 yr old cyclist riding a bike without brakes… it is a racing bike meant to be used on a cycling track, and is illegal to use on the roads. he hit a pedestrian and killed her. in his defense he said he shouted at her to make way. i guess not having to undergo compulsory training to use a bike, he never thought the onus is on him to avoid hitting people with his bike. he thought she had to get out of his way and not he to brake and avoid hitting her. i said riding a bike is dangerous but it seems being a pedestrian is dangerous too… from cyclists.

well, i suppose all this is modern life. conflicts between different users of the public roads and pathways.

in a way u could say it is what your soul wants. after all, why that moment when u cross the road this cyclist comes along and hit you. why you, and why him. all the 24hrs in a day u can cross that road, why when u do, this cyclist comes along at the same time. why couldn’t he come along a few seconds before or after u, and so miss u entirely… why huh? there must be plenty of times when two souls did not collide… that is why when it happens it makes me wonder if those two souls wanted it. it reminds me of times when i read someone fell off a high building and lived to tell the tale, whilst another slip on the pavement, falls on his head and died.

if that is not enough to convince you that it is what their souls want, one did not want to die, the other did; nothing will. 

added. i went to the male circuit training this afternoon, in chelsea sports centre. this is my third session. the previous two were on very wet wednesdays… but today the sun was shining and i was able to see chelsea in sunshine, and to compare it with the last time when it was raining.

i prefer it raining actually. this is because the rainy day looks gloomy and so made my happiness more happy, because it is in contrast to the  general picture;  whilst today it is sunny and so my happiness did not seem so happy. it is the same happiness but with two different backgrounds that enhances in  one instance, and diminishes in the other instance. happiness is relative… i mean in a rainy day everyone is expected to be sad, so my happiness seems to be more happy. whilst on a sunny day, everyone is supposed to be happy and so my happiness dont seem so happy by comparison… does it make sense? haha. it makes sense to me, but i dont seem to be able to explain it better . 

added. 2.58pm 24.8.17. the cyclist was guilty of wanton and furious driving, not guilty of manslaughter. it seems the woman walked into  his path. she was not looking where she was going, seemingly looking at her mobile phone. it is a strange sentence… very vague thing to be found guilty of and is from a 150yr old rule. even then it is very rare for a pedestrian to be killed by a cyclist in a collision.  

expat life

1 Feb

london 3.31pm 15.1C cloudy/rain. monday 2016

i was walking through leicester square earlier today, and got a flyer from someone giving it out. 

Digital StillCamera

Digital StillCamera

it is very tempting… mainly because u can try all the different types of pizza as many as u like.

i am not into pizzas, yet it even tempts me.

when u consider it is normally £9 for a all you can eat buffet in a chinatown restaurant, or if it is about £7.50,   the selection of food is not that great, full of carbohydrates instead of meat, and very salty to boot, this offer from pizza hut is a good one. it sounds like i am advertising them, but i hope not. haha. i wonder if this offer is a one off or is it a regular thing.

i googled it and found out that other pizza hut chains charge £6.99 , only central london and blue water shopping centre charges £7.50… just goes to show how expensive other restaurants are in central london . so might be worth it to eat in the pizza huts out of the centre of london. it just goes to show how unfamiliar i am with pizzahut and pizzas in general that i am not aware of all this until i see this flyer given to me.

(i saw some comments by customers, and they were complaining of lack of choice of pizza and slow kitchen. so maybe the central london pizza huts are better ,as they are always busy and so the kitchen can keepup a smooth and steady flow of pizzas and so dont have to wait too long for a favourite topping to come along. )

i suppose one of the things about living in a big city is the junk food u can get haha.

dont laugh, there are some who cannot do without a macdonalds, or a burgerking, or a crispy creme. haha.

and i know that people in the far east, and asia, make it an occasion to go to a macdonalds, or kfc. wasn’t it japan where the whole family celebrate christmas by going for a meal in the kfc? its seems it is a tradition. 

There, one goes to the shopping mall for entertainment, and the choice lies between chain stores, national franchises whose offerings are highly predictable. There, I would probably spend hours glued to Facebook, and watch a movie a day on Netflix. I do the same here.

the above is a quote from this post why go home? by this blogger expat in chiangmai, thailand. the cheap cost of living is the big draw for this expat and that seems to be the deciding reason for him and also for majority of foreign expats who are from the first world deciding to settle in a developing country.

i wonder myself what i would do different if i were to be in malaysia, or thailand, instead of here in london. in my case, it is the opposite of them, here i am,  a malaysian who is expat in london, whilst they are people from america being expat in thailand.

i like where i am because i like western culture… english films, etc. and the way in these western cities run their buses and tubes. it runs smoothly and often.

that there is no sudden breakdown of electricity or power.

that there is no need to bribe anyone, if u want something done.

no need to haggle when buying things. everyone gets charged the same.

and lots of books , newspapers etc to read without too much cost, free books and newspapers and wifi,even, if u use the library.

no floods, or droughts, or mosquitos , or shortage of foodstuffs, or hot and monsoonal weather.  

oh well, every soul shall live in a life of their own desire. and if someone wants to uproot and go to s.e.asia, so be it. whilst all those who want to come here to uk, shall do so , even if it means smuggling themselves in by hook or by crook. 



what’s happening?

24 Jun

london 6.58pm wednesday 2015

I passed by the victoria coach station this morning on my way to the library and saw a huge long queue winding round the building. and these people were laden with bulky knapsacks. what’s up? i guessed it must be the glastonbury crowd going there, and sure enough when i googled it to find out when it starts, it starts today to 28june. the farm it is being held is quite remote, so i guess these are special buses. they are all young people, not a grey hair in sight.

i dont envy them. all that mud is not what i like. haha. and you can hardly hear any music and what u hear is mightily distorted. it is the atmosphere, i know, and meeting others of like mind. i get it. but i am mighty glad i am not one of them. haha.

added. 26.6.15 found out it costs £220 for the whole weekend for glastonbury. and all 135,000 tickets sold out in 26mins. amazing really!!!

i wanted more salad ingredients, so decided to take the bus 38 to soho, where there is a co-op supermarket in brewer’s st. they are doing a special promotion of 39p veg, and whilst there i saw a cauliflower reduced to 55p. the lettuce was what i wanted. iceberg lettuce are simply the best salad ingredient. it is the crunchiness of it i think that appeals to me. it is tasteless, that means it just picks up whatever dressing you put to it. i use the tesco basic mayonnaise, which i think is the best mayonnaise i have tasted. the vinegary taste of it is just right. i have beetroot and melon at home, ( tesco is doing a special on melons 69p each no matter what the size, and the promotion has just started i think, because i could see some huge sizes in the pile, and got to pick the biggest… haha. the price is not based per kg)and added to the salad they make a fantastic combination. that is the nice thing about salads, they just allow you to add any thing u can think of , simon happened to have some ham, so i added to it as well. just perfect.

thank goodness the westend has nothing happening, so traffic was flowing smoothly. it is fascinating to see the waltz of the traffic flow, with the traffic lights changing just when the road ahead is full, and so allowing a gap through which  the contra flow traffic can proceed without obstruction. this is in piccadilly circus. whoever set up the timing of the lights must be a genius, unless of course they use sensors that tells if the road ahead is full, and changes the light. i would not be surprised if that is the case, computers can do things like this so easily dont they?

of course there is the usual pedestrian mad men who just walk across the street without looking. these two tourists, a man and woman, must be from america, they just blithely walked in front of the car, near trafalgar square; they were saved from being mowed down by the car braking sharply. but they did not even reacte, not even look round , just carried on walking leisurely looking in the opposite direction to traffic and  facing straight ahead, like they own the road, or like they  were not even aware of their near death escape. tourists!! and they joined their friends on the other side and start posing for pictures. haha. blissfully unaware at all of their near death. their souls dont want to leave their bodies i guess.

i am afraid i too am guilty of this unawareness. and i have to say it must be my soul and the other driver that dont want us both to be involved.

it was on another day it happened.  it was near the sainsburys in pimlico. they have a car park with an exit and entrance that is quite hidden. usually i am aware of it, and pause before i cross to make sure no cars come up from the underground car park, but this time i was day dreaming, and walked right across the entrance and only when i was midway did i look to my right and saw a car coming towards me. it was far enough not to have to break suddenly to avoid me, and i thank my soul and the other driver’s for not wanting to kill me. a few  second later and i would have crossed just when the car is on me. i dont know why they dont put up something there to warn pedestrians of a hidden exit. but it does make me think that if the soul wants to leave the body it will engineer it, and that is that. if it does not, than you will avoid death by a split second. or it goes the other way, and u just hit that point at the same split second that the other comes up to it. what are the chances of that happening do u think? of all the seconds that u can both miss each other, and there are plenty of those seconds, but no, both chose to hit that spot at exactly that one second…. if u tell me that is not the souls wanting it, i wont believe you.

i was thinking about my life, and i realise i have the life of a rich man. just consider this… i have all the time in the world to do nothing or everything. i have no one to tell me what appointments i have to make, nor responsiblities i have to shoulder. my time is mine to spend as i wish. isn’t that the mark of a rich man? or rather what is the point of being so rich if u cannot even have a fraction of what i have? right?

their souls want it

3 Mar

I have finished the heretics, by will storr some time ago, but delayed returning it to the library. It is not due also but also I thought I might write a review and need it for quotes. 

But every time I start I find it might be better for you to just read it. Haha.

As the book said, we all have our viewpoint which we have long ago decided is the story we are happy with. So reading the book will only reinforce your viewpoint, as anything that it said that do not coincide with that viewpoint , you wont notice.

That is it, really.

What I would like to know and it is something that the book does not address,  is how come some of us change our viewpoint , in fact sometimes drastically.

Like for eg, some one who turns gay when the children have grown up and get divorced and become gay.

Now they would have been living a straight story all these years, so if we only look at things to confirm our story, why then did this guy, (and it is usually a guy), become gay when he gets old.

Some say he is always gay but repressed it. He has a straight story imposed on him by society, it is what he had been told and so believed it. Until one day he does not …

I always say his soul decided to change the story. And his soul is the one who started the straight story too.

But it does not explain anything, by saying his soul wants it.

Maybe we humans love to have a reason for things … and my saying ‘his soul wants it’ may irritate a lot of people who wants more substantial  reasons in their life.

By saying ‘my soul wants it’, or ‘their soul wants it’ may be like others who are religious saying God wants it, or Allah wishes it. though by saying my soul wants it, i also imply that i have a say in it, and can influence my soul to move in a direction i wish.

I know it is complicated. is the soul deciding things on its own with no reference to what I want? when i say ‘I’ i mean the ego, (i suppose the soul would be the ‘id’).

You can see there are holes in my belief. haha.

how far can my ego determine what my soul wants? if it can influence it 100% then my soul follows my ego, but we can see in our life, what we (the ego ) wants do not happen always. So it seems the soul has some say but how we reacte to the things it brings into our lives, is something we can control. it seems like the soul bring to us things or events ( like a dog bringing us things in its roaming) and let us decide to take it up or not. 

I am thinking of the time when i find things. i figured it is like the soul brings it forth. Sometimes it is not obvious that i might need them.  but i pick it up anyway. only later, sometimes months, years later, i find they are useful. or my friends find it useful and i can give it to them.

Also there are times when my soul does some things in my life. like make things go missing, or make the washing machine stop working.

i could chose to get upset and call in the repair man, or hunt high and low and turn the house upside down looking for the missing thing. but i figured the soul is acting up so i just stop looking for that thing, or switch the washing machine off and just do other things.

and i find that things revert to normal. the missing item turned up , the washing machine starts and works again. usually i say to myself. now what fuck is all that about? and i mentally say to my soul stop this nonsense will you. i wont have it!! i dont mind scolding my soul when it does that. trying to make my life difficult is what it is doing, and i mentally give it a slap or two. 

I know it sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? but some people’s souls do want to make their lives difficult. and i will scold my soul if it does that to me. i have no wish to make my life difficult. 

I hope u dont think i am losing my marbles. haha. but when they raise the gas and electricity tariff, in 2008, i decided i am not going to make my life difficult, i shall cut out all that nonsense about gas prices rising. i simply switch off my gas supply and stop using the boiler to boil water, but use the kettle instead. by only using electricity for all my power usage, i dont have to pay the gas bill. it so happened that british gas stop the standing charge. u only pay if u use it.

so at a stroke i dont have a gas bill.

Then there was the time when they raised the price of fresh milk.

i decided i wont bother with buying it. it goes off and so u have to finish it or else u throw it away because it goes rancid.

It is ridiculous really.

so i decided to buy milk powder instead and it lasts me months. it is the same with cereals , and needing fresh milk for it. i decided it is a waste, much of it is full of suger , and so decided to just buy oats. no suger there. and put sultanas in it, or fresh fruits if i got it. well problem solved. haha. the porridge makes me regular, no constipation, and that is wonderful.

At the same time they increased the price of suger. well i decided that i shall not use it any more. same with salt. so that means two items less to buy. and tea, i decided i shall use tea leaves, they last so much longer, as they can be refilled. tea bags just are not strong enough for reuse and does not taste nice and it has an awful colour. so at a few strokes like this i simply got rid of things making my life difficult. 

its the same with the car. i decided it was a ridiculous waste of money, and so when the engine blew, it seems it ran out of water in the radiator, i got rid of it. and that made my life a whole lot less difficult. it made me wonder why i wanted to make my life difficult in the first place by buying that car.  i guess it is something we want to experience just so we can get rid of it, and be able to say i experienced it and so no need to experience it anymore. i have a feeling there are lots of things in this life we want to know, just so we can be satisfied it is no great thing after all, and let it go. 

People may think if we don’t have reason we are nothing better than animals. Man is much more than animals, that would be their story, their belief. 

You can see it is a complex issue and maybe there is no explanation to why some people believe this thing, and others that, and so on.

I feel my saying’ their souls wants it’ is good enough reason for me.

Update, 6.30pm

Something happened after i wrote the above, and u tell me if my soul have anything to do with it. 

I mentioned the washing machine in the post earlier, and that brought to mind to clear the outlet pipe of any debris or washing powder. In the past I have found it can completely block it.

Well, I unscrewed the special valve- like connection that connects the outlet waste pipe from the washing machine to the pipe that leads from the kitchen sink to the main rising mainswaste pipe running down the length of the flats to the ground below.

After cleaning the special valve , (there was not much debris or blockage,) I was screwing it back and it slipped and fell through the hole in the cupboard and into the space where that big waste pipe runs to the ground.

When I felt with my hands the vast space under there and into which my valve has fallen I thought well that is that. I have lost it now, it must be lying way down there, maybe even as far as the ground.

I had visions of me trying to find a replacement in the bathroom shop, and trying to tell them what I need. Not a nice prospect.

But for a wonder, I saw a pale white thing lying a distance down across the chasm and on a ledge. And it was my valve.

Thank goodness my soul don’t want me to have a difficult life. I retrieved it carefully and rescrewed it back and now all is shipshape.

It got me to thinking it could easily have gone the other way, the valve fallen through to the ground and me having a difficult time trying to get a replacement and my washing machine out of commission till then.

Finding it on the ledge saved me a lot of bother. Well, I thank my soul for saving me from it.