sunset and reflections on life

London
I was at the tate modern members’ room last Sunday; using my new membership card which I won in a prize draw at the tate Britain. I went to sit outside where I can watch the sun set over the city scape.

Over 2hrs, I watch the changing light show. The sun do not set behind the buildings in front of us , but behind us so that the light is reflected off the glass in the tall high rise buildings. There is a changing light as they catch and reflect the dying light shining bright red and fading as the hours go by. The nat west tower is particularly imposing, as the windows are bordered from top to bottom by a small wall, and that catches and re flects so that the building is bathed in many red strips of red. And on top they have a water tower which is spot lighted green.
Next to the nat west tower is another building being built and its wall of glass reflects the sunset as a glowing large expense of red light.

I saw a single Chinese girl there, and she asked if the seat on my table was free and sat there. After some time of gazing at the city scene she asked me where I am from.

She is from Bangkok, here on a 10day visit to London. I asked if she is here for the shopping, but she said no. she said she was here a long time ago and just wanted to see it again and had been sightseeing.

I asked if she is a member of the tate too. (I had noticed many of the others coming out to the balcony were speaking foreign languages. They cant all be members surely?) She said she asked the security guard downstairs where she can get a nice view and he took her to the 4th floor and got her into the members room.

So it looks like if u are a foreigner and ask, you might just get the chance to view the members room and the fabulous view from the balcony. maybe that might explain why the place ws so crowded with people. it was from 2pm-4.30pm i was there. 

It might not only be for members only… not surprising really because if they want to make money out of selling food they will need a lot of customers. I think in the tate britain, the members room is smaller and to eat there u have to be a member, but anyone can wander up there to see the view. i wonder how they will make that exclusive for members’ use as there is no door they can stand guard , unlike the one at the tate modern. and if u go up by the lifts it actually bypass the single man at the desk on top of the stairs. i asked him if i am allowed to bring a guest to see the exhibitions, but it seems my pass is for only me. 

When I was viewing the sunset city scene, I felt quite melancholy. It is strange because I have never felt like that when I view the sunset in other places. I guess in other places I was looking directly at the sunset, whilst this one I am looking away from it. The sun was setting behind some buildings on the left of us. Hidden away the sun’s presence was only evidenced by the glow in the sky and the reflected light off some of the buildings in front of us. Somehow it is a different mood to seeing the actual orb glowing and dipping slowly towards the horizon.

Even though the river Thames can be seen in front and below us, it was a broad river, and the buildings on the opposite shore are concrete blocks really. The view might be like venice, in that there is this broad expense of water like the grand canal in venice, but the buildings let it down. None of the grandeur of the palazzos of venice.

Perhaps it was my mood too. For as we all know, plenty of the things we see are affected by our moods.

I experienced something over the last two days that make me realise that bad news can be devastating, but when it does not happen you would think it would make me feel ecstatic to the same degree but it does not. If the bad thing happens, it affects a person much much more than the news that it did not happen would raise that same person‘s happiness.

Why is that I wonder? Why does a thing not happening do not raise our happiness to the same degree as bad news makes us sad. The degree of sadness that the bad news brings to us is so much more intense and out of all proportion to the happiness we feel when the bad news did not happen.

And happiness seems to pass very quickly whereas the sadness seems to linger on for years and years and might never end. Why? It explains why there is so few happiness and a lot of sadness in this world.