thoughts prompted on losing my phone signal and unable to get online

30 May

London
I am at the library using their free wifi to get online.
I lost my phone line signal last night and it is still not available today. Usually they, (talk talk) fix it quickly and the disruption is a short period, but this time it has been unusually prolonged so that even after a whole night had gone by, the phone is still dead. It also means no one can call me on the phone, or me use the phone to call talk talk and ask them to fix it.

This connection in the library is very slow. It is provided by btopenzone, and does not require a password but I guess the downside is the slowness of it. Cynical me would suggest it is a ploy by bt to get people to pay up rather than tolerate such a slow service. At first I could not get online, but when I told the reception, she kindly asked one of the helpers to come to help me with it. Rather good of him to do so.

I guess it brings home to me how much I depand on having an online service at home and being able to log on anytime in the comfort of my home.

Being online and being able to contact friends via email has taken the place of a phone call to friends.

There is the nub, when u neglect or let go of friends to call, the danger is that when u do want someone to chat with, there is no one.

Of course, if the friend died, that too would make u lose a contact. So maybe it is wiser to keep a few friends to chat to in case one of them dies on you. Haha.

I was thinking of this because of the death of a friend who lived in Thailand. I don’t chat with him over the phone nor do I write regularly, but I know a friend of his in uk who does and I expect the death will hit this friend much harder than me.

But I know that it wont make u less lonely even if u have loads of people to call and chat. I think we are alone, every one of us, we are on our own. We enter this world alone, and will leave it alone.

You could surround yourself with friends and family, but u will still be alone because none of them will be able to share your feelings.
That is why I believe it better to strengthen your own internal mind so that u can cope with those times when you will feel alone.

Anyway, I am online now at the library and so was able to get online to my talk talk account to let them know of the fault in my landline.

They actually did not know of the fault, because when I logged on, they say there is no fault with my landline at present.
It is only when I reported the fault using their fault report form, that the information changed to there is a fault with the broadband and we are looking into it.

I knew I had to report it, because it took so long to resolve and still remain unresolved this morning. Usually any fault is very quickly solved.

Ah well, it is not crucial for me to have my landline open. I am not doing any business that rely on a depandable phone line.

And as u can see, I can get online in my library for free.

It is a pleasant library, with desks along one wall, for us to plug in our laptops and use their electricity to keep our laptops charged. Very useful in my case because my laptop’s battery has lost its ability to keep its power for long. It takes only a few minutes for it to discharge all its power and shut my laptop down.

I think with this internet revolution and being able to be online and connected to everyone all over the world wherever we are, it makes things so much less lonely.

Or rather, let me put it another way, it allows us to write to the world and get some connection with another human being who might be prompted to respond.

By its very nature these contacts will be fleeting and sporadic, but it will have to do and can provide some human contact for us who have lives that are very self absorbed and private and self sufficient. At least speaking for myself. My life is really very self sufficient. I am not depandant on another for my livelihood nor for my health or care.

But that is the danger, because I am so self sufficient, I see no need to cultivate friendships with others that are mutually helpful.

For eg, if I need care, I would try to find someone who wants a place to stay and in return can provide me with some hours of care. That would be the solution I would use if ever I need care. Rather than rely on social services to provide the care.

I know the wise thing to do is to find those people now whilst I still am healthy and don’t need it, but it is difficult to do so, as even if u do find someone who is potentially fit for the job, there is no guarantee what the future brings, and that when the time comes to need his help he might change his mind, or his circumstances may be altered so he is no longer available.

In cases like this, maybe the new age adage that things will come when u need it ; you would hope that is true.

Anyway, this is me reminiscing, and being thoughtful and insightful about my condition, and future condition.

Nothing like a death of a friend to make u look afresh at your life.

I guess inertia will make me not do anything. That is also typical of life. But I will bear it in mind and get some things sorted out.

But things are not all doom and gloom today. haha. Life is still wonderful. 

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